Had a great visit with my family in Nor Cal for Christmas. Missed my husband, who's truck broke down...but all in all it was fun. I still feel displaced though; like an old shoe or like an appendix. You know, once useful...now just there and obsolete, barely noticeable. All the kids and grandkids are growing and going their own ways. New lifestyles that I don't understand. Sigh. And, while most people look forward to an empty nest - I do not. It feels like a big empty hole in my heart. I pray and God offers peace, but the flesh is weak and I keep going back to the mind set of regret. So much I wish I could have done (or do) but no way to do it or be with them. So many responsibilities and so much of the ugliness of life getting in EVERYONE'S way. I wonder if I'm the only one who feels like this?
I LOVE California. It's totally the bomb. I lived there for 22 years (until Sept 2004) intend to move back one day (soon I hope). I'm currently in Texas and don't want to miss a thing -- so all you Californians Blog Away!
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Christmas Visit
Had a great visit with my family in Nor Cal for Christmas. Missed my husband, who's truck broke down...but all in all it was fun. I still feel displaced though; like an old shoe or like an appendix. You know, once useful...now just there and obsolete, barely noticeable. All the kids and grandkids are growing and going their own ways. New lifestyles that I don't understand. Sigh. And, while most people look forward to an empty nest - I do not. It feels like a big empty hole in my heart. I pray and God offers peace, but the flesh is weak and I keep going back to the mind set of regret. So much I wish I could have done (or do) but no way to do it or be with them. So many responsibilities and so much of the ugliness of life getting in EVERYONE'S way. I wonder if I'm the only one who feels like this?
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