MORE OF Z

This is my newest grandson, Z. My son thinks he is his son, but he's not sure and there hasn't been a paternity test. But, even if there wasn't one - this little man has already wormed a permanent place in my heart as my grandson. His is just adorable. And, I am beginning to develop a bond with his mommy. We share a kinship of sorts, as the stories of our lives are starting out pretty much the same.

Please pray for S and E "Z". She just completed her G.E.D. and is enrolling in cosmetology school. Also, pray that I find the ways and means to visit my daughter in August and in doing so get a chance to meet the grandson I've never met.

GOD IS SO GOOD

Two of my sons have found jobs, two more to go (one son and one friend). They desperately need work within two weeks. Also, they need a car (or two) reasonable enough for them to afford. Just a fixer upper to get them back and forth to work. Economical on gas preferably. Please continue to pray for my oldest son J and D.
J (my youngest) was approached by a man after his testimony last Sunday. (And let me tell you, I was shocked and grateful for the change God made in my son's life). The man used to be a Hell's Angel and was into drugs, etc. J's testimony reminded him of his own when he was a young man. He told J, "If you can tell your church family about this testimony ... you can tell others and reach others." "I have been riding my motorcycle and giving testimony ever since I found the Lord." He spent the rest of the service that evening with his arm around J.
He gave J a job at his paint store/business and told him he'd pay for his classes at the junior college. Folks, I PRAYED for a job that would provide for my son(s) needs and put them with Christians who would mentor them as well. God heard my prayer and I consider it such a honor that they were answered. I'm so grateful and feel the perfect love of our Father. It just amazes me!
Please continue to pray for my "middle" son J. Even though he has found a job, I suspect his priorities are askew. It's rained so he can't work when it rains. But, beyond that he promised to pay the first month's rent in the boys' home (they are renting our little house) and is now going back on that promise because he is moving in with a friend. Plus, he and this friends drink alcohol and smoke weed. Neither is 21. Plus, J's son's mother served him with papers for child support. He suspects the child is his, but he's not 100% sure and he doesn't want to pay child support, "because she won't even let me see the kid."
However this is supposed to work out for God's will and purpose, I'm praying with fevor! I also pray that J doesn't have to hit "rock bottom" before he seeks the Savior.
My deepest thanks for praying for my family.

Church Camp Blessed

My son just returned from a trip to New Mexico from church camp. He called the other night just blessed and praising God. He gave his testimony twice and the youth group leader said he was a spiritual giant. Now that he's back, I pray God's love and blessings as well as protection so that it doesn't fade and he continues his journey down God's chosen path.

When I Get Where I'm Going

Artist/Band: Paisley Brad

Lyrics for Song: When I Get Where I'm Going

Lyrics for Album: Time Well Wasted

(Featuring Dolly Parton)

When I get where I'm going

on the far side of the sky.

The first thing that I'm gonna do

Is spread my wings and fly.

I'm gonna land beside a lion,

and run my fingers through his mane.

Or I might find out what it's like

To ride a drop of rain.

(Chorus)

Yeah when I get where I'm going,

there'll be only happy tears.

I will shed the sins and struggles,

I have carried all these years.

And I'll leave my heart wide open,

I will love and have no fear.

Yeah when I get where I'm going,

Don't cry for me down here.

I'm gonna walk with my grandaddy,

and he'll match me step for step,

and I'll tell him how I missed him,

every minute since he left.

Then I'll hug his neck.

So much pain and so much darkness,

in this world we stumble through.

All these questions, I can't answer,

so much work to do.

(Chorus)

But when I get where I'm going,

and I see my Maker's face.

I'll stand forever in the light,

of His amazing grace.

Yeah when I get where I'm going,

there'll be only happy tears.

Hallelujah!

I will love and have no fear.

When I get where I'm going.

Yeah when I get where I'm going.

I recently heard this song again and while the tears rolled down my face, I chuckled and smiled. I can just hear my Pop singing this with his deep, booming voice and steely blue eyes sparkling. I imagine him saying these words to me and calling me honey bunny. I can't wait to get where I'm going Pop. I'll try to cry more happy tears for you.

Love, Sudabell

Father and Son

Here is a picture of my Pop (the rock I mentioned in the previous post) and my bro. It must be extremely difficult for my brother to be without Dad. Father's Day for them was unique, as B was his only son. Hang in there bro, we love ya' loads...your sons and grandsons do too!

How Great Thou Art

Every time I hear that song, it makes me cry. It was my grandmother's favorite song, and thus became my father's favorite song. This was the first Father's Day in my life that Dad wasn't here. I couldn't call or send a card and tell him how much I love him. When they sang Dad's song at church, I couldn't stop the tears...I still can't. I looked up to heaven and said, "Happy Father's Day Pop." "I miss you so much."
I read my sister's blog and amazingly (or not so amazingly since it was inspired by God with the help of my Pop in heaven) they sang "How Great Thou Art" at her church service too. I grieve for what is lost, but rejoice for what was gained. Dad is waiting for us in heaven! I try to draw strength and joviality from that. He let me know he's listening and watching, up there with Jesus. His song will forever touch my heart with comfort and I doubt I can ever hear it again without tearing up.
My sons have a fractured, disconnected relationship with their Father. Abandonment, hurt and disappointment are the memories that most paint the picture of their relationship. They don't have a good relationship with my husband, their step-father. It is marked by criticism, condemnation, unforgiveness and anger. I grieved on Sunday (and continue to grieve this week) because they are not as blessed as I was. There are no perfect fathers, or mothers, or daughters and sons. I know this. But, my Dad was always a dad, father, counselor and protector every single minute of my life. Even when he wandered from the chosen path, the love he shared for me and my family was the kind of love God expects of his children. So, I grieve the rock that passed to a heavenly place and cling to the one our Lord provided. I will press on toward the mark, endeavoring to keep my eyes and thoughts and spirit toward heaven because now I see my Heavenly Father and my Pop when I focus there. Lord God, How TRULY Great Thou Art!

Brothers

My oldest son came for his little brother's graduation. The middle son and my daughter couldn't make it. But, this picture reminds me of the bond of brothers. Though they fight and bicker and contest egos and strong willed opinions...the love of brothers is undeniable. Just watch how they react if the other is hurt or in danger. I love you very much boys!

Class of 2007

CONGRATULATIONS and all God's best to the class of 2007!

No Baby Boy

I can't believe it! My baby boy has graduated from high school. He's excited and ready to spread his wings. My husband thinks it's great...but I'm so sad. I've been a Mom since I was 19 years old. I don't know what else to be, or do, or how else to feel. It's a bit of a midlife crisis because I get so sad. Almost like I am losing my identity.
But, pray for my son (all of them). This young man needs God's guidance and direction, protection and intervention. Help him map out a future that is pleasing to you Father God. Let him know how much he is loved by the Lord. Remind him to press on toward the mark, keeping his eyes and Spirit fixed on Jesus. Put a woman in his future (and the future of all my sons) that is rooted and grounded in Christ. These things I pray in Jesus name. Amen.