Just Don't Fit Anymore

I feel like a fish out of water lately. Guess it's really been building up the last few years. I don't feel like I fit anymore. Anywhere. With Anyone. And - I'm not just talking about waist size. Don't feel like I fit with most of my husband's family, had a falling out over something insignificant - and we are all Christian's! Plus, my husband shares all of his "issues" about me or my kids with his brother - so they "see me" through "tainted eyes." Again, they are Christians and so am I. Where is the forgiveness? Go Figure. My husband is a DC now, so I don't fit in that "educated circle." Actually, he's having more life experiences in Mexico without me right now. He has all "male" hobbies and I don't fit there because I can't relate or perform. My kids have a strained relationship with him - so it puts a terrible strain on me. I feel like I don't really fit as "Mom" either, because they are all adults now. My advise and opinions are "old fashioned" and discounted. Angry sentiments for life's hard times are directed or blamed on me. They don't relate to me or need me like they used to - and more often then not, I feel used (like an afterthought) instead of loved or admired. Haven't lived back in California for over 5 years and don't feel like I fit in the old circles there. Hardly anyone keeps in touch. So much has changed and I've been left out of the loop save for one friend back there. I haven't lived in Wisconsin in over 23 years...and though my family is there, I don't really fit there anymore either. Life has dealt me some hard times and while they empathize, I'm not sure they can truly relate to me on many levels. We've lived separate lives for so many years. Don't have any real friends to vent with or have fun with and hang out in Dallas...cuz' I've spent the last 5 years working 7 days a week. I have associates at work, but other than a school chum (who lives an hour away) not really fitting in there either. No money, no exceptional attributes, nothing to offer really. Haven't been to church much because of car problems, and Pastor retired. All the kids that used to go with my kids are in college so when I get there I don't recognize half the people anymore. I just don't fit anywhere. I always want to be anywhere else but where I am in the given moment. It's a very uncomfortable feeling. Wish I could shake it.