Deployment

My son has been deployed to Afghanistan since March 27, 2010 and we are on the down side of this deployment. For those who have never experience a loved one in the military deployed to a combat zone - there are no words to describe what it's like for those at home on American soil. The worry, prayers, dealing with "river city" for OPSEC reasons, care packages and avoiding news media reports are a daily source of stress and trauma. I thank God for keeping my son safe and everytime he calls (which might be once every 4-6 weeks) I praise Him even louder! I'm proud that our sons and daughters are fighting for the freedom of others - as well as for OUR freedom. The old cliche says it appropriately "Freedom isn't free - there's a price to pay." God Bless you and keep you safe Joe. God Speed until you are home again with your family and friends.

Independence Day

These are the 3 of my 4 children (well 5 if you include my stepson) that I will not be spending the 4th of July with. I miss them and love them and say special prayers daily for them...but Joe (in the plaid) is a Marine deployed to Afghanistan and I'm sending special thanks and prayers his way. Please remember how fortunate we are to be Americans and have the freedom and liberties that we have. It came at a costly price. Many have died for the name of freedom. God Bless the USA!

Lifestyle Change

I started a diet or lifestyle change this week...which I really want to be in earnest but have been moody and depressed all week. The first three days were a total flop. Didn't exercise, didn't reduce calories or watch what I ate...now I have to lose 54 pounds instead of 52! I really need to do this for health and self esteem. Don't want to have to have stomach banding or anything like that because I want to learn self control, portion control, behavior modification.
For so many reasons (financial, lifestyle, lack of local support, stress, age, metabolism, genetics) it is going to be an uphill battle to say the least but I want to do this. I have to do this FOR ME. I can't afford weight watchers or any other program you have to pay for, can't join a gym or buy CDs to exercise to, don't have time to weigh, measure and pre prepare meals. So it makes it hard. Not impossible, but hard.
Praying for strength and willpower so the next four days will show a market improvement and a positive results.

Rich Mullins - We Are Not As Strong As We Think We Are (Wheaton College...

Awesome God - Michael W. Smith

Bring the rain

Celine Dion - Because you loved me

Parents of Deployed Service Members

This is my son, a Marine deployed to Afghanistan. He's a young man at 20 years old, but the average age of service personnel is a young man of 19 (I'm not negating the women who serve - just stating statistics). I've always empathized and been supportive of our military; but it became a whole other ball game when my son enlisted. I have a new and vivid respect for the wives, families, friends and parents of our military personnel. Marine, Navy, Air Force, Army, Coast Guard, National Guard ... I get tears in my eyes just thinking about what their "job" really means. Someone once said that enlisted people write a blank check to the U.S. Government which could possibly mean they pay the ultimate sacrifice. How can you not be proud?! How can anyone actually protest who they are and what they do?
I have a nephew in the army, another enlisted in the Airforce, more friends in both branches and some in the Navy...new ones in the Marines and a long family heritage of service. Do the people who protest not have any one to "enlighten" them?
While I know God watches out for each and every one, I also know where they go if the check is presented for payment. Fallen angels they are called. Still, as a mother this possibility is VERY difficult to bear. Not that fathers, brothers, grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, friends and brothers in arms don't share the burden - but I have to say, I'd rather stand on the front line in harms way then to think of even one person's son or daughter falling.
I praise the Heavenly Father for His mighty protection, His omnipotence, His omniscience and His omnipresence. I know that He is with my son every second of every day; just as He is with me giving me strength and faith to endure while my son is away. I look forward to welcoming my hero home and may God bring ALL of our heroes home safe and soon!

Predictions

You know, there was a program about Nostradamus on TV last night, and how many if not all of his predictions are uncanny and accurate. Debate exists about whether or not he was a Christian. A lot of his predictions are not really "good" predictions. Gloom, doom, death and despair. Which, thanks to the media we get plenty of on a daily basis - thank you very much. And the more desperate the news, the more paper it sells. Welcome to reality TV! I don't watch the stuff. So, why do we watch Nostradamus or any other prophecy shows? Why are we so intrigued by fear and ugliness?

I find it difficult enough to get through life in my own little bubble and stages. Why do people thrive on the black and depressing? All of the predictions Jesus gave us in the bible, and not too many people want to dwell on those or espouse the virtues of living in God's realm. Truth be told, I get so caught up "in the flesh" that I don't walk the walk near as adequately or often as I should. Thank goodness our God is a loving, living, and forgiving God. PTL! But, what if in the next second "we're too late?" All these people I love and know haven't asked the Lord to be their Savior. Is eternal life really so hard to believe in? I don't think so. All you Darwin followers, if you can believe that - why can't you believe this? That mutating cell had to come from somewhere people!

But, I digress. My heart ponders the future when I watch such shows on TV. What will the world be like in 5, 10 or even 20 years when my children and grandchildren are going through these same "stages" of life? Will the world still be here? My mind can't even wrap around the thought. So much war, hate, destruction, disease...we have earthquakes, volcanoes, tsunamis and global warming. Abductions, murders, abuse. Divorce. Kids are subjected to adult realities far too early and the joys of youth are as vanishing as the early morning dew. My 10 year old granddaughters are showing signs of puberty. 10 years old!!! When I was 10, I was still playing with barbie dolls. It pains the heart.

Nostradamus had such grave predicitions about the U.S., about the war in the Middle East, about China being a new world power...and again, death and destruction. My son is over there in Afghanistan fighting for the U.S. so we can maintain our freedom and continue to be the greatest country on earth. My nephew and friends are in Iraq doing the same thing. It makes one want to take a sledge hammer to the TV. Who are these people that choose these shows? Do none of them have children? Is the god of this world so entrenched in that realm of life that we have no hope of ever regaining our foothold? Seriously, are we so greedy and distracted by wealth that we are numb to the dangers?

I say it's time we stand up, take up, put up and tell them to shut up for the sake of our nation and our people. We need to get up and pull ourselves up by the boot straps by looking up to the One who gave us everything and created everything. I'm up for that, are you?

Mid Life

I guess I should be joyful about being in midlife...there are many things to be thankful for. At 51 years of age I am a Christian - saved by the blood of Christ and I know where I'm going when my vessel is done being used. I have been blessed with 4 children and a stepson, 4 grandchildren, a job, a home and fairly decent health. Not the greatest, but I'm not ill and for that I am most grateful. While it hasn't been an easy ride through life and I've had way too many trials, there are others who have endured far worse and still rejoice. His refining process can't be explained.
I'm thankful for each new day and the opportunity to do His will. Why then, is faith such a faltering thing? Why does worry, doubt and fear still consume the soul? Oh to sit at His feet, feel the beat of His heart and know the love and peace of God. It's overwhelming (like the song). Is it wrong to want Christ to return sooner rather then later? Is it weak to be tired and weary? Tears only cleanse my eyes and don't offer solace. Prayer brings temporary relief, until the flesh takes over its mundane daily tasks.
As I prepare to send my son off to war, I lay all the burdens I have at the foot of the cross. God is with him, just as He is with me and I trust Him to deliver my son from evil, to be his Protector and Defender, to love and guide him just as He does each of us. I give you ALL those who are dear to me Heavenly Father. I pray for ALL those serving in our military and the families that love them. Thank you for all that you are Father and all that you do. I praise you with all of my being. I trust in You and You alone.

Looking Forward

I'm looking forward. Looking forward to visiting with all four of "my kids" when Joe comes to visit before deployment in three days. Looking foward to God's hand making changes for the better in my family's lives (as individuals AND as a family unit). Looking forward and not back - not to avoid the pain or forget the lessons, but to see where I can serve His purpose. Looking forward to being with my dad and My Father in heaven one day. Looking forward to sunny days and warm breezes. Looking forward to improved health and the ability (financially, spiritually and physically) to enjoying retirement one day. Looking forward to my childrens' weddings and more grandchildren. Looking forward to spending time and making memories with ALL the people I love. I'm pressing on...

Just Don't Fit Anymore

I feel like a fish out of water lately. Guess it's really been building up the last few years. I don't feel like I fit anymore. Anywhere. With Anyone. And - I'm not just talking about waist size. Don't feel like I fit with most of my husband's family, had a falling out over something insignificant - and we are all Christian's! Plus, my husband shares all of his "issues" about me or my kids with his brother - so they "see me" through "tainted eyes." Again, they are Christians and so am I. Where is the forgiveness? Go Figure. My husband is a DC now, so I don't fit in that "educated circle." Actually, he's having more life experiences in Mexico without me right now. He has all "male" hobbies and I don't fit there because I can't relate or perform. My kids have a strained relationship with him - so it puts a terrible strain on me. I feel like I don't really fit as "Mom" either, because they are all adults now. My advise and opinions are "old fashioned" and discounted. Angry sentiments for life's hard times are directed or blamed on me. They don't relate to me or need me like they used to - and more often then not, I feel used (like an afterthought) instead of loved or admired. Haven't lived back in California for over 5 years and don't feel like I fit in the old circles there. Hardly anyone keeps in touch. So much has changed and I've been left out of the loop save for one friend back there. I haven't lived in Wisconsin in over 23 years...and though my family is there, I don't really fit there anymore either. Life has dealt me some hard times and while they empathize, I'm not sure they can truly relate to me on many levels. We've lived separate lives for so many years. Don't have any real friends to vent with or have fun with and hang out in Dallas...cuz' I've spent the last 5 years working 7 days a week. I have associates at work, but other than a school chum (who lives an hour away) not really fitting in there either. No money, no exceptional attributes, nothing to offer really. Haven't been to church much because of car problems, and Pastor retired. All the kids that used to go with my kids are in college so when I get there I don't recognize half the people anymore. I just don't fit anywhere. I always want to be anywhere else but where I am in the given moment. It's a very uncomfortable feeling. Wish I could shake it.

Wonderful Family

God Bless Us All in 2010! I love you guys!!

My Grandchildren!

It's been over 5 years since I moved from California to Texas. I'm saddened by all that I missed in the growing years of my grandchildren. But, every visit I have is a cherished memory. Look how they've grown! Aren't they beautiful? God truly blessed me when He gave me grandchildren. He blessed me with children who bless me with grandchildren. Though life is an unending struggle, this is something to be thankful for because there are many who would love to have children and cannot. God, place a hand of guidance and a hedge of protection around these precious little ones. I love them so much and know you love them more (which is difficult to comprehend). Place people in their lives who will teach them to walk in YOUR ways. When I am apart from them, remind them how much I love them. I pray this in Jesus' name, Amen.

It's a New Year

It's a New Year and hopefully a time of New Beginnings. So far, it seems like the same stresses, burdens, worries and fears. Same arguments and frustrations. Do I want to lose weight and get in shape? Yes. Do I hope my financial situation improves? Of Course. Do I want my relationship to grow stronger? Who wouldn't? Is there much to pray about in the world (family, friends, economy, government, health, forgiveness, our daily walk with God)? Most certainly!
As a mortal, it is all too easy to get caught up in the chaos and distraction of the 21st century. (An old trick of the adversary). I'm the Queen of busy and distracted. "Give it to God, take it back. I can handle this." Not! It's all too easy to be a "victim" and harder to be proactive and tenacious about our true purpose. (Especially when married to an unbeliever). But, I revel in the moments God lets me know He is with me every moment. The loving whispers that all is not lost in despair and there is love - there is hope. Even when it's 17 degrees outside, the sky is blue and clear - I'm thankful for that. I'm thankful for my job, thankful for my children and grandchildren, thankful for extended family and good health. I thank God He chose me to walk with Him by sending Jesus.
So, I start the New Year rejoicing and prayerfully acknowledging all that He is and does for us. I pray for my son in the Marines and all those being deployed. I pray for my son and daughter who are unemployed. I pray for the safety of my son who is a semi driver. I pray for all of my family members who are lost or have strayed from God's path for them - please draw us near to you and keep our eyes and hearts focused heavenward. May God bless you in many, many ways this year.